Trying

sunny, cool, temps 15

In the sun, out of the wind, it's gorgeous. In the shade, in the wind, it's like the arctic. Makes dressing quite a challenge.

We're in Montreal...arrived about midnight last night after a great time at the Kingston Writers Festival. Fabulous time. Wonderfully organized...terrific line-up of authors...very exciting. And the volunteers were amazing! Fun, vibrant, happy to be there. Made everything a joy.

I had a panel discussion with Howard Engel, moderated by the terrific Therese Greenwood, who writes short stories. Howard, Michael and I went for dinner in Kingston to a restaurant called Chez Piggy. Infact, one of the recent comments on this blog suggested we try out Chez Piggy...so we did. Sat outside. Had steak frites...all three of us. Michael called it Miss Piggy's the whole time and everyone recognized Howard from the night before...making me wonder what he'd done the night before that made him so memorable.

Got back to the venue in time for our panel...the place was sold-out. Packed. Therese was fabulous. Being a moderator is the most difficult job on the panel. We had loads of fun - then Michael and I jumped in the car for the 2 1/2 hour drive back to Montreal.

Went to Stuart's visitation today. So difficult seeing all those photos of him, healthy and happy. Poor Donna and Jeremy.

Thank you to everyone writing in with kind words about Stuart. We're meeting Susan and another friend, Elise Jacob for breakfast, then we're all going to the funeral. Elise used to be a receptionist at CBC and is now a famous photographer. Next week she's doing a portrait of the Dalai Lama. Aren't people unexpected and amazing.

I always liked Elise...which is why I named one of the characters in Still Life after her. I wonder if she knows...I wonder if I should tell her. Oh oh. Still, if she's photographing the DL surely she's not allowed to haul off and hit me.

Speaking oif photographs, we had a bunch of new ones taken of me earlier this week in Toronto. It was a bit of an emergency...yes, a photo emergency. Only in publishing are you likely to get that.

People Magazine said they might (stress, might) be interested in running a review of THE BRUTAL TELLING in the issue that goes on sale next Friday - Oct 1st. But they needed a new photo of me.

Of course, I was told just as I had a mouthful of french fries, in my sweats, in the hotel room. Mwarwch? I said. Yes, the publishers said - and we need it now.

So once we'd established that People Magazine could probably not make do with a snapshot taken by Michael's blackberry, we remembered that our good friend Ian Crysler lives in Toronto and is...a photographer!

Poor Ian got the call at 9pm that he needed to be at the SoHo Met at 9am the next morning...pleeeease...

Bless him - such a wonderful guy...he dropped everything (I'm sure that bride didn't care) and showed up. By then I'd gotten the cheesecake out from between my teeth, and even managed to shower...and we spent the morning shooting.

Very fun, really. Much more fun with a friend, so I could relax. Sort of.

If People runs the review, which would be terrific, you can see the outcome.

This puiblishing world is exciting and peculiar. There is SO much that is beyond anyone's control. Like being the Barnes and Noble main selection. Unbelievably fabulous...but we couldn't make that happen. And reviews...there's so little print space left for reviews...there's no way you can 'buy' a review. Or the People Mag. Something that potenially influential, and all we can do is wait and hope.

It is a great exercise for me in patience, and in having faith that whatever happens was meant to. Both for the good, and sometimes for the not-so-good.

Acceptance. And trying not to wreck something with worry.

You know, seeing that montage of Stuart at the visitation today reminded me of what passion he had, for so many things. Gardening. local politics. His home in the country. Military history. Mr. Bean. Trying to save the local hospital. And of course, his family.

I think if there was one thing I walked out of there with for my life it was to at least try. With all my heart. And not worry so much about the outcome. Just try.