Friday, 22 May 2009

The Great Unwashed

mainly sunny, mild, temps 20

Well, the septic tank is in. But it had some company. While showing the tank to the Pompage BM people yesterday Michael fell into the septic tank. Well, not all the way in, but far enough. He called me to say, in a little boy voice, 'I had an accident.' which could mean anything from 'I've broken my neck' to 'My ice cream fell from the cone.' At no stage did I think it could possibly mean, 'I fell into the septic tank.' A weeping field, maybe. Who hasn't? But a barrel full of poop?

Home he came, off came the clothes. and shoes. Into the washing machine they went, into the shower he went. A cup of tea and date square later and he was feeling better.

Honestly, that is not the way you want to go. Imagine that. And imagine the headlines... Man killed by fall...crap sought for questioning.

And just when we thought we'd seen the last of the damned tank we got a call about an hour ago from the city inspector. We'd put it 1 metre from the house (where the old tank ((and briefly Michael)) had been) - instead of 1.5 metres from the house.

So now we need to dig another hole. Oh well. Frankly, I don't think you can have too many holes in a lawn, but Michael disagrees.

Last night - all night - the alarm kept beeping. Not outright wailing, thank God, but a persistent beeping that was enough to drive us from our room and into a guest room. Called the alarm people and while Michael was supervising the septic situation, having intimate knowledge now of the tank, I supervised the repair of the alarm system. Which mostly meant staying out of Benoit's way.

We've made reservations to go to New York at the end of June. That's be wonderful. Staying at the W, I think.

Before that we have a few events, including being the Canadian Guest of Honour at Bloody Words. Denise Mina - a wonderful Scottish crime writer, is the International Guest of Honour. Received the schedule of my events for that. a one-on-one interview and two panels...and I need to give a short speech at the banquet on Saturday June 6th. Need to write that.

Am hoping to finish the first draft of book 6 by June 1st - then write the speech, then head off for an event in Toronto, then the Ellis awards banquet, then Bloody Words - then back to Montreal in time for the apartment move mid-June. Then off to New York.

whenever I feel stressed - which is fairly often these days - I remember my new least it isn't a tank of crap. At least it isn't a tank of crap. Repeat after me. At least...


Cornflower said...

Such things must all be grist to the mill for a writer, surely?!

Louise Penny Author said...

Dear cornflower,

you're quite right, though not sure I could ever have Gamache fall into a septic tank. Ruth, perhaps - Beauvoir at a stretch...but not Armand. Besides, I could barely believe it when he told me - though I did laugh for about 3 hours...not sure many readers would believe it!

Lesa said...

Oh, Louise!

I had to read it to Jim because he came home from Starbucks today complaining a bird pooped on him, his shirt and shorts. But, at least it wasn't a tank of poop. Thank you for my daily laugh!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the chuckle (actually a full-throated laugh). Michael, we aren't laughing at you, we are laughing with you. Really.

My partner and I will be attending Bloody Words (driving from Maine) and look forward to hearing/seeing you there.

Brenda B.

Martha said...

Perhaps "falling" into the tank could be the method of murder...Look forward to your blog each day. Starts the day off right. Thanks! This southern girl loves you. Martha

Jeanine said...

Oh, Poop!

Jo B. said...

Oh, my, not another hole in the yard....maybe you can make a bog garden out of the unused one! Had to laugh about Lesa's comment about bird poop. My friend is a bird poop magnet...pigeons love her! Nothing so humiliating as poop sliding down one's head, unless it is falling in an occupied septic tank!!

hilary said...

Michael's descent into....well.....well I bet he wishes it were a well. But it's all very novelistic. There has been such a to-do over the septic, so much going on, it had to be heading for a climax -- or doo-doonuement!
And I'm sorry to say, a perfect one.

Louise Penny Author said...

Dear Lesa and Jo B,

Oh, poor Jim!! You know, it amazes me it doesn't happen more often to all of us! And I agree, Jo - how horrible that would be to have poop on your face...and you just know it would happen at the worst possible moment. When Brad Pitt walked by, or Sean Connery.

Louise Penny Author said...

DEar BRenda,

How wonderful to see you there! Make sure you introduce yourself. And Michael and I are considering a visit to Maine in the fall - depending on how the writing/editing is going. Probably Ogunquit.

Louise Penny Author said...

Hi Martha,

You made me laugh - thank you! This northern gal appreciates it!

Louise Penny Author said...

Dear Jeanine -

Exactly - oh crap.

Louise Penny Author said...

Dear Hilary,

Ha! Doo-dooneument. Wonderful. And thank you for wishing Michael well. Har har.