an apology

brilliant sunny sky, cool, temps 8

Stunning day - our hotel room looks out across Lake Ontario it's absolutely gorgeous this morning.

Had a wonderful time yesterday. Went to the matinee of The Sound of Music, to see Michaela Snoyer in the role of Louisa. She was fabulous - as were all of them. For the first half hour or so I watched Michaela everytime she was on stage, then I got so caught up in it I forgot!

I hadn't heard the songs since I was a little girl and I found myself crying more than once. Can't really explain why, though it was a beautifully performed show and clearly that helps convey all the emotions. But I wonder if part of it wasn't simply nostolgia.

The place was packed - mostly with older people, and I heard quite a few sniffled. And Michael brought out his hankie more than once too.

The only disturbing point - intentioanlly - was near the end when the Von Trapp Family gives their concert. The set suddenly became a Nazi hall - and more than the set. Soldiers with guns appeared in the aisles of the Princess of Wales theatre and Nazi banners unfurled and it felt suddenly claustrophobic and frightening. I felt myself very unsettled and begin to squirm, and I wondered how some of the elderly people in the crowd might have felt who actually lived through that era. Still, it didn't last long and it was meant to be evocative. And it sure made you cheer when the Von Trapps did what they did...

Then Michael and I scooted up to Sleuth of Baker street, on Bayview Ave in Toronto, for a signing with Mark Billingham. Tons of people. Mary and Charlie (sister-in-law and nephew) showed up on their way to Charlie's hockey game. Then brother Doug and the other two, Roslyn and Brian came...Brian with a big bag of gummi bears for auntie Louise (to keep me quiet) and Roslyn with a bouquet of flowers. How lovely and kind is that? We put the gummi's in a bowl and everyone enjoyed them.

If you came out to Sleuth, thank you! It was such fun...a marvelous mix of old friends, family and new readers. And gummi bears and wine. What could be more perfect?

Then JD, Marian, Ann Ledden (of McArthur of Co), Mark, Michael and I went out for a terrific Indian dinner. Then home.

Today Ann is picking me up at 12:30 and we're driving to the Thornbury Public Library for a 3pm talk and reading. Then dinner. then a 7pm event at the Collingwood Public Library. It would be fun to see you there.

Home by 11.

You know, I was thinking this morning about the events, and talking to other authors and something occured to me. I realized I was feeling tired and a little stressed and even put-upon by all the publishers events - cocktails, dinners etc.

And I suddenly felt ashamed of myself. How odd - how spoiled. To feel somehow hard-done-by because I have a cocktail party to go to at 10pm. That I need to put on a nice dress and talk with fascinating people. That I need to read from my own book in front of a crowd of people who've paid to hear me.

If I've come across like that I'm deeply sorry. I apologize. It is possible, I suppose, to build a bubble around me and somehow develop the warped world view that parties are difficult. It suddenly came crashing home that most people have real jobs, hard jobs, demanding and often thankless jobs.

Mine is to be wined and dined.

To be fair, it isn't always easy...especially given my temperment where I'd always much rather stay at home or in my hotel room. But you can't always just do what's easy. I tried. Got me no where - and sure didn't make me happy in the long run.

So, I'm thrilled you're reading this blog - and have come along for the ride... things are always easier when I'm not alone.

So, off into another day!