Thursday, 5 January 2012
snow gently falling, temperatures have risen to minus 6
Now this is my idea of peace. sitting by the fire, cafe au lait, Michael, Trudy, a Michael Innes mystery (There Came Both Mist and Snow)....nothing on the agenda. Yes, we have no bananas. Nobody coming over. Nothing to be done. OK, some laundry - but that will wait. And I can just drift into the laundry room and do it at my leisure.
I realize what I want - and what I suspect most people want - is to set the agenda. Kind and wonderful friends are asking us out...and I said to Michael that it's not that I don't want to see them - but I'd love to do the asking. It must be a psychological thing, of regaining control over our lives.
And for now, solitude and quiet is the goal. I think it's because, at heart I'm a bit of a hermit. so strange and contradictory...I genuinely like people. And need people. And yearn to belong. Long for a sense of community. And yet, I also want my privacy and solitude.
I think, as amazing and wonderful as the last few years have been - and I wouldn't trade them for anything, they really are my dream - there is an element of losing control of my life. going with the flow became a river, then a rapid, then a cascade...of all great things. But I do feel I want to rest on the shore for a while, before plunging back in.
This is our shore.
Hope you're feeling peaceful and energized as you head into 2012. The photo above was taken by Gary last week, when he came to take new pictures. Not sure this will ever be chose as a shot for the dust jacket - put I like it!