Definitely Disturbed

brilliant sunshine, temps plus 10

Amazing day...one of those strange moments....snow everywhere, and yet it's warm outside. Hot, almost, in the sunshine. I remember spring skiing on days like this and getting a burn. And at the end of the day propping my long skis into the snow, then sitting in the snow, leaning against the skis, with a hot chocolate (later a beer), and sunning myself at the bottom of the hill.

Ahhh. Almost as wonderful as that lunch break, often at the small restaurant at the top of the mountain...clumping along in undone ski boots...waiting in line for the overdone hot dog and fries and hot chocolate. Always burned my tongue on the hot chocolate. Never anywhere else, only on the lunch break at the hill. The lunch always tasted so good.

This is such a day.

I think I'll take a couple of chairs out to our porch and make some soup for our lunch.

Rain tomorrow....but for today, we enjoy.

Writing going well. I realize how intimidating a new chapter is. How I go back, over and over, the former chapter....afraid to start a new blank page. Funny how humbling writing is, as I come face to face with all my insecurities, and all the places I've found to hide. of course, I'm only hiding from myself. But, oddly, it seems to work for a while. I think I might not be very bright.

Having fun writing this book - can't tell you why, but while there are all sorts of issues of complex structures and story lines and character development - I think I just am more relaxed. I know the story....but mostly I know I can always fix it later. I used to think I had to get it right immediately. What a stone around my neck that was. Took no chances, and took very few steps forward. But once that was cut away, wow. Suddenly, it becomes fun. Or at least, somewhat less terrifying.

Wrote just over a thousand words today. Spent the first hour or so reading the work from yesterday, smoothing, moving things, taking some things out. Lightening here, darkening there. Added a small exchange I thought about in the night. We'll see later if it works....the flaws become so much clearer when I start to work on the second draft.

For now my job is to be courageous and creative - to take chances. And to remember what a genuine privilege it is to write. To be able to write. And to have a story to tell. And to have you to read it.

A huge part of my enjoyment is being able, this time more than any other book, to keep the world away. And a big part of that is having My Assistant Lise. She came over the other day, with some paperwork, and another the things she'd done was brought a vat of gummi bears and the Do Not Disturb sign.

Clearly it's a little late for that.

Hope you're well and enjoying the season.