Sunday, 17 July 2011

Hello, I must be going...

mailing sunny - hot and humid - temps 29

Very muggy. LOVING the geo. But I spend all day editing on the screen porch. Absolutely heaven. Take trudy for a walk when I get fed up or frightened, or confused. She is getting in good shape.

To be fair, the book is also in far better shape than I dared hope - both in terms of the quality and structure of the first draft, and the way the second draft is going. I made a lot of notes in the weeks I took off between the two, and I think they're paying off. Today was a bit dicey - some pivotal stuff needed to be added and switched around...but it worked well. Oh, thank heaven.

Amazing how powerful fear is. I was thinking this morning, after editing just 5 pages of the 25 I was hoping to do - that maybe I should stop. Just stop. I didn't want to do it anymore. Oddly, this wasn't in a particularly difficult section. and while tired, I don't think I'm any more tired than anyone of you.

I think it was fear...again. Not focussed, just sort of free-floating. fortunately I recognized the feeling...had it in the first draft too - and in each of the past I near the end of a draft I shy away from it. Feet that had felt light and strong suddenly feel leaden. Some invisible power is pushing me away from the end, like a polar opposite magnet.

But clearly that's not reasonable, and certainly not an option. So I just need to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Nose down.

And sure enough, within a page, that feeling had gone. Am now at page 228 out of 280. Slightly more than 60 to go, though I suspect I'll be adding some at the end. I think I hurried it, so desperate was I to finish the first draft. My hope is to be finished the second draft (first edit) by the end of the week. It should be possible, though I also know it slows down at the end, just because of the intricacy of it.

Had a fun day yesterday. Edited until 1pm, then Michael and went to Knowlton and had lunch with kevin and Terry Tierney. Then at 4:30 I interviewed Kevin as part of the Knowlton WordFest. Fabulous festival...lots of amazing guests. Kevin produced Bon Cop, Bad cop. Very funny - and the most successful Canadian film at the box office in decades. His new film is out in Oct and is called French Immersion.

Must run - Bal, Linda, Bethany and their friend Trevor have arrived...staying in cottage...came over for swims, drinks, nibblies. then I'm off to give the literacy speech to end the Knowlton WordFest. Bye!


kath said...

Sorry to hear that anxiety creeps in.
How funny that is to me. You are quite a remarkable writer, you know.
I guess it's only natural though.
I look forward to this book and hope it flows smoothly for you !

Miss Diane said...

J'imagine un peu à quel point cela doit être stressant de finaliser et peaufiner un livre. Mais je suis certaine que vous y arriverez, comme toujours.

J'étais à Knowlton aujourd'hui dans l'espoir de vous rencontrer. À la librairie, on m'a dit que vous étiez dans le coin. J'ai acheté "Bury your Dead", le seul qui me manquait et la dame m'a dit d'ouvrir l'oeil au cas où je vous rencontrerais afin de vous faire autographier le livre. Malheureusement, ce ne fut pas le cas. Ce sera pour une prochaine fois!

Je vous souhaite une excellente semaine!

lil Gluckstern said...

How good that you understand your writing process. You will come through as always and produce your jewel, as always. Can't wait for Trick of the Light!

Beverley Baird said...

I just finished "Bury Your Dead" and absolutely loved it. It was powerful, kept me so captivated - I did not want to put it down!
Now I will have to start at the beginning!
I read it for the OneBook One Community here in Kitchener - but after page I was drawn in. Thank you so much.

Tall Pines Pottery said...

Louise, thanks for sharing how delicate a balance there is between doing the work you love and the fear of it. I certainly can relate.
Rock on!