Charlotte, is that a pile of bear droppings?

sunny, gorgeous day, temps 11

Not, perhaps, as warm as some days but again the wind is calm - so it feels like a perfect spring day.

Took Trudy for a walk this morning..she got halfway into the field and took off for our front lawn - quite a distance away. I watched her, then decided if she was there I might as well feed the birds.

The first sign of trouble came when I noticed the large open birdfeeder had been ripped apart. I thought - raccoon. Then I noticed that the tubular birdfeeder that is attached to the house by a metal rod was missing completely and the metal rod was bent.

Then I saw a huge pile of steaming you-know-what on the lawn, about the size of Billy Crystal. I immediately called - 'Michaaaael!'

He was in the kitchen and came running out, in his slippers, sweats and sweater. I pointed to what had been our birdfeeders - then the pile.

Bears. Big bears. Then we looked at the metal garbage can we keep the birdseed in. It was over on its side, dented and the top torn off. Oddly, the bad of seed was still in it.

This was very exciting. I don't mind bears at all - though I don't think I'll be sleeping on the screen porch anytime soon...and we made sure we locked the doors...in case this was a bear of considerable brain. What surprised us was that we heard nothing...and our bedroom look out over the front lawn.

We called Tony who confirmed it was a bear...and when asked about the crushed metal garbage can and why we didn't hear it he said that bears are very, very quiet.

We let that be.

I used to think it must be quite glamourous to be a writer. Now I know it's mostly sitting around in flannels and the most exciting conversation is about piles of crap in the front yard. I think Emily Bronte must have found the same thing.

The good news is the crap is now on the front lawn and no longer on the page. But it seems a karmic thing with me. If I'm not dreaming of toilets I'm afraid my book is crap, or I'm actually finding not effete little deer droppings, but massive mountains of it on the lawn.

Saved a frog out of the pool this morning too. I'd like to see the Bronte's beat that.

As an addendum to this post, Tony just dropped by - to look at the dropping (yup, bear)and put the battery back in the tractor. He was also going to pick up the poop and toss it into the woods but decided to leave it there.

Why, Tony? I asked.

As a conversation piece, he said.

Obviously Tony knows just how sparkling our conversation normally is, that it can be helped along by a pile of crap on the lawn.