Time

sunny - yet again! - and mild. temps plus 4

Wow - an april day. Trying not to worry because it's so mild. We almost always get a snow storm in March. Very unsettled. Usually hits around St Patrick's day.

Today's recycling day. Michael wheeled the huge blue container out to the side of the road last night. It rumbles and bumps along - we have quite a long and rutted drive. Sounds like a monster either leaving or coming. But last night I watched a show on hoarding. Ever seen it?

Very dramatic, very shocking. What I find most disconcerting is how apparently 'normal' they seem. But when you see their homes they're in an appalling state. I guess it's like any addiction - like alcoholism etc...it creeps up. Anyway, I started looking around our home and realized we have a fair amount of 'stuff' that could be recycled. Old magazines etc. All neatly stacked in the bookshelves, but our bookshelves frankly are overflowing. So I took a huge load of old magazines out to the recycling this morning before the truck came. Freed up the shelves for the books.

If you turn on 'Hoarders' in the next few months and find a tall woman and her adorable husband, both looking fairly normal, on the program you'll know the recycling stopped there.

Actually, i'm not a hoarder at all. Just the opposite. I think Michael could become one, if not closely supervised (by me). When we die our unfortunate relatives will have a heck of a job in the basement. That's where Michael keeps his 'stuff'. I've been advised not to call it 'junk'...but it is.

The writing went well today... I was tempted to continue after the 2,000 or so words but decided to stop.

We just had a call from the guest cottage. It's Tara's time. They've made an appointment with the vet out here for 2:20. Bal and Linda will drop Bethany off with us and take Tara in.

They'll have her cremated, they say. We mentioned that all our dogs, Bonnie, Seamus and Maggie have been cremated - but the ashes not buried. Indeed, perhaps that's what we hoard most. Dog ash. It's everywhere. But we couldn't quite bring ourselves to put them out, and never have them in the house again.

But we know it's time. And were planning on burying them together this summer. We told Bal that Tara was welcome to join them. But I think, right now, they're just concentrating on getting through the next two hours.

Little, Brown!!!

sunny, mild, temps minus 2

Another splendid day. Not sure it the syrup will be running today - perhaps a little too cold. Water on the driveway frozen today. Crunched my way with Trudy to the mail box. I remember painting it when we first arrived her. Put on a bright fresh blue paint, the house number and then stenciled Michael's last name...then realized there was very little space for my name. so I ended up printing it long hand. So Michael's name is huge and symetrical and mine all squashed in and trailing off to the side.

Now, a decade later, the mail box had been whacked by the garbage truck, by the recycling truck, by the snow removal tractor. The blue paint is faded and chipped. The metal box is all dinged. But our names remain. I look at it and think I should repaint it, but I sort of like the 'lived in' look.

Great news about Tara! She's still with us...or actually with the Mounts. Amazing the will to live. And be with the family.

And other great news - that I've known for a few month but couldn't say anything about. I've changed British publishers and will now be published by one of the most prestigious and serious houses in Britain. Little, Brown. A storied publisher. I'm beyond thrilled. My editor there is Dan Mallory - who was an Oxford professor of literature (even teaching detective fiction) - before joining Little, Brown.

Michael and I had tea with him in London and got to know him. Very important for me to have a personal relationship with an editor. It is such an intimate relationship, there needs to be trust there, and the absolute certainty the editor knows what I'm trying to do with the books, and will fight fiercely for it within the publishing house, and beyond. And there needs to be mutual respect. I just adore Dan - and his very impressive ideas for the series. It's exciting.

Cannot begin to tell you how thrilled I am. So Bury Your Dead, as well as the next three books, will be published by Little, Brown in Britain.

For the american market I've stayed with my US publisher, Minotaur and my fabulous, dazzling editor there, Hope Dellon. It also helps that Dan and Hope are very interested in working together and making sure they come to decisions that will build the Gamache books in both big markets.

I'm a big fan of collaboration and team work. As you know, I'm very competitive...but in my experience the best way to succeed is to work well with others. A team is always going to be more powerful than an individual. And more fun.

I realize many people feel much more comfortable on their own...but I don't. Besides, if it doesn't work out, I plan to just blame Dan. Or Hope. Or Teresa. Or Michael. Or Trudy. Or you.

Gives me comfort at night.

Breakfast in cowansville this morning. Then 15-hundred words written. Woke in the middle of the night realizing two things didn't make sense in the manuscript...or, really, I'd forgotten something that would make sense. I have a notepad by my side of the bed so I made more notes. sometimes the notes are a little too cryptic.

Dog food.
Why not?
When arrive?
whip?

things like that that in the morning make no sense. But these notes this morning did. So I was able to go back and insert a few references and am now writing a scene that needed to be there.

As I write the book comes alive more and more. Very fun.

Michael and I are considering going to London for a couple of weeks in May...but i need to be finished this first draft by then. Don't want to be in the Big Smoke and still writing...nor do I want to interrupt the writing for two weeks. But if the timing works out it would be perfect. When I finish a first draft I need to take a couple weeks off, to detach and be able to edit.

We'll see. I'll know better in a month.

Off to ellipticate on the torture device, and listen to Billy Bishop Goes to War.

Once more into the breach, dear friend.

Tara

Sunny skies - a few clouds, breezy - temps minus 3

Nice day - I'm thinking of taking Trudy snow shoeing this afternoon. Too bad thinking about it isn't enough!

Picked up the copy of Billy Bishop Goes to War that Maurice at the local radio station had kindly transfered to CD. I'm so excited about it - but have decided to save listening to it until I exercise tomorrow. Always good to hold out a treat for myself - normally it's an eclair.

Got an email from Jen Forbus this morning. She has a terrific, and very creative, blog called Jens Book Thoughts. She wrote to say the voting has started in the first round of the Detective matches. As you might know, Armand Gamache is going head-to-head with Jesse Stone, by Robert Parker. Gamache might be at a slight disadvantage because he doesn't carry a gun. Perhaps I'll give him one, just for this tournament. But I don't think so. He must use his wiles to win.

Here's Jen's message -

Week 1 of the World's Favorite Detective Tournament is open for voting. Come fill out your ballot; it's quick and easy!

http://bit.ly/ck5Sj5

And then pass the word along to all your friends! Support your favorite detectives in our own Mystery March Madness.

If you'd like to enter the contest, there's still time to do that. Entries for predictions of who will make the Elite Eight, the Final Four, the Championship and who will take it all, will be accepted through midnight tonight only:

http://bit.ly/dbh5M1

Good luck to all the detectives!

I hope the links Jen sent work.

The writing went much easier today. it often does after struggling for a day. There's a sort of breakthrough. did 2,000 words today and am now sitting about about 12,000 works in the first draft. I generally race through the first draft, pushing myself, mostly because I really don't like first drafts and want it over with. Having said that, when the writing is going well there are few feelings like it on earth - at least in my experience. That sort of bliss that comes from doing well what I know I'm meant to do.

Still, it's hard work and it is clear to me now that while I'm willing to work hard, and I know that is the only way I'll achieve what I want...I don't actually like working hard.

Do you know what it is? Fear.

The fact is, if I didn't have a contract to write...if my publishers dropped me - I would still be doing exactly what I'm doing today. Writing an Armand Gamache mystery. I just need to remember I'm doing it because I love it.

I also need to remember that most people have really, really hard jobs. They don't get to sit in front of a fireplace. They don't get to wander into their own kitchens and make cafe au laits. Or break up work by snow shoeing with their dogs. Most people don't get to write blogs for kind readers, or respond to people who have taken the time to write nice emails.

Most people work hard, for little money, for almost no recognition, often for demanding and demeaning bosses.

I get to open my laptop and enter Three Pines, and have meals with Clara and Myrna, Gamache and Beauvoir.

And sometimes it's hard. But a bad day today is still better than my best days before I was writing. When fear had won.

The only shadow over our lives today is worry about the Mount's dog, Tara. She's old and frail and almost certainly dying. Linda sits up with her all night, both dozing when they can. Linda and Bal worrying whether Tara is in pain. Whether her time has come. but as they put it, what they want to do is get rid of the suffering, not the sufferer.

And so they continue to comfort Tara. And wait. And pray to know when her time has come.

Today, when we got up at 7:30 their van wasn't at the guest cottage. And it still hasn't returned. We wonder if Tara's time came in the middle of the night and they took her into Montreal. to their vet there. I guess we'll find out.

Very sad, as most of you know - having faced exactly this same decision. And perhaps some of you are facing it right now too. if so, my sympathies.

Be well. Speak tomorrow.