Death, thou shalt die.

Sunny, beautiful day, temps 13

Went to a tiny village called Tibenham yesterday for John Buxton's funeral. It was a beautiful event. Emotional, but didn't feel catastrophic. He was 75 and had seen his death coming, as had we all. And he talked about it easily, though admitted to Michael in private moments, that there were times he was afraid, and times he was in a rage about dying. And we felt that same way about losing him.

but finally, like with most death, it was a celebration of his life. And all the people he loved. And who loved him, including his wife Moira and children Jocelyn and Nigel and Dee and Patrick. And his grandchildren. And his friends and family. And Michael.

We sat at the back of the very old church. It's tiny and was crowded. The rafters and ceiling looked like the hull of a viking ship. It is a very simple, very clear church. Very lovely. And in the background were the bells John and Moira had had re-made a few years ago. The church was founded centuries ago by one of John's ancestors...another John Buxton. Many of his ancestors are buried beneath of the huge stones of the church floor. That wasn't possible for our John, but he did ask that he be allowed to lie there for one night, in his coffin, before being buried as close to the church as they could.

And so he did.

the service was simple as well, with his brother in law George doing a very lovely eulogy. And John's two sons reciting a Sonnet by John Donne - chosen by John. The one that begins, Death be not proud...

It was very moving to see his two boys, grown men now, so dignified.

Then the graveside service.

It was blowing a gale...the worst storms of the year for England. Rail service was disrupted, trees and electric lines down. Lashes of rain at the grave intermingled with huge leaves torn from trees.

It was very, very Gothic. I think we all appreciated how macabre and dramatic it was. Especially standing amid moss covered old tombstones beside the tiny church.

In fact, as we entered I noticed the marker commemorating the men of the parish who had died in the world wars. And I remembered that that was where I got the inspiration for the memorial window in the chapel in Three Pines. Beneath the list of names was written, simply, They Were Our Children.

After the service we went back to the Swan pub. Very old, half-timbered...small, comfortable rooms, each with an open fire. and out the leaded glass windows the storm continued. Then Peter, a friend of the family, who has helped us a great deal in the past two weeks on our visits to John and Moira, drove us to the train station. Thankfully our train wasn't disrupted. We made it back to Liverpool Street station, then home on the underground. By the time we emerged the storm was over. And today we awoke to a brilliant, sunny, new day.

Spent the morning on the last 20 pages...almost finished. Need to be so careful, so clear, at the end. We're off now for a Japanese lunch, then more editing this afternoon. I'm determined to be finished this draft by bedtime tonight.

Be well. Thank you for holding our hands through this, and coming to the funeral. We so appreciate it.

The Dark Knight

sunny, warm, temps 29

The funeral was this morning at Blessed Sacrement Church in Toronto. Lovely service. What made it extra special is that two of Don's grandchildren, Joanne and Brian did eulogies. Really, the poise of those kids. And what they said was amazing. Painting an image of Don Lingeman - his love of cards and fishing, baseball. How he'd fish with Joanne, and take Brian to baseball games, and they'd buy the peanuts in bags which no one else ever bought.

They had us all laughing, then getting teary-eyed.

I realized, sitting there, that when I'm at a funeral I never think of my own mortality. But I do think about others...about losing people I love. And I get scared and upset. I'm never afraid to go, but I'm almost always afraid of being the one left behind. I'm a big fat coward.

After the service we considered driving home, but it's the beginning of a long weekend so decided to stay. Instead we went to the Dark Knight, the batman movie. Wow, was it ever violent...lost track of the deaths. I love action flicks, and there was a lot to like about this. Heath ledger really is fantastic as the Joker. So sad. And lots of other great performances. But the violence just became a scream that over-powered everything for me.

Nice popcorn, though.

Quiet evening in the hotel - then driving home tomorrow. Probably won't blog tomorrow, but will try for Sunday.

Be well.