Finished, finished, mwahah, finished!!!

overcast - mountain behind the house encased in cloud - sticky day - temps 22

One of those funny sort of days where it's humid and cool. My body is confused - not for the first time.

but my head and heart are in agreement!! This is a magnificent day! I finished the third draft of book 8!! I also want to just clarify that this is not A TRICK OF THE LIGHT - that was finished many, many months ago. books really have to be, since there're all sorts of publishing decisions that need to be made - like cover design, final edits, publishing date, advance copies, marketing.... so a book needs to be at the publisher almost a year before it will actually get into your hands.

The book I've been working on this year - and finished the third draft at 5:30 last night - is the next one. Book 8. Which, god willing, will come out a year from now. Book 8 (do you just love the title?) is the one set in the monastery. Very fun, as it turns out, to spend much of the year with monks wandering around in my head. bumping into all sorts of unsavory thoughts. Poor ones.

Of course, finishing the third draft doesn't mean they aren't still up there....whispering things I should have done with their characters - lines I could change - small edits, slight smoothing. Chatty for men who've supposedly taken a vow of silence.

I've sent the manuscript - electronically - to my agent. This is actually the first time I've been able to do this since she now has a kindle. How things have changed! Up until now it's been all mailing of printed copies. I wonder what the next ten years will bring? I know it's a scary time for publishers and especailly booksellers. I don't have a kindle - have no need. But Michael does - he actually has a nook. He loves it for travel, but continues to buy and read printed books at home.

so we've found a balance - an alliance - between the two.

So now I wait - and try not to stress out completely wondering if Teresa's reading the manuscript. Where she might be at. And why - after 12 hours - haven't I heard from her? Clearly she hates it. What was I thinking? it's a mess. I'm a mess. A disaster...

As you can see - most of the fiction never reaches the printed page, but squirrels around in my crowded head. I might have to put the monks to work, cleaning out up there. I think insecurity is just part of the package. I don't like it - but I suspect it's far better than being cocky, or taking it for granted I've nailed the whole thing. I think it's what makes me try always to do better.

If I'm not vulnerable it means I haven't risked enough. haven't strayed from my comfort zone. Haven't opened up. And perhaps, don't care enough.

This is only true of me. I'm not in anyway saying other writers/artists/performers who are confident haven't risked, or opened up. I'm sure they have, and still manage to be confident. But after all this time, I realize it's just who I am. Not a good thing or a bad thing. Just a fact. And I can laugh at it now and make some peace with those insecurities. and vulnerabilities.

But for today - life is amazing!!! Book done - and trying to have a day with nothing on the agenda except what I want to do. Oddly, that often means I'm quite productive. Little things like throwing out the old flowers and getting into the garden to make new arrangements. Calling animal control to see if they can live-trap the porcupine and relocate it deep in the woods. There're some details - like making notes of power outlets - for the construction. It happens when I'm on book tour. It's just nice to have one day when I'm not being told I have to do something. but do it because I choose to.

Ahhhh -

What a surprising and blessed life. Made all the better for starting something difficult. And finishing it.

Once Teresa reads it she'll send the book to my editors, Hope and Dan in NYC and London - and they'll make their notes and tell me what they think. so this is far from the last draft. But it's as close as I can get, and now I need their thoughts. When the team is great and healthy and collaborative and mutually respectful, this is a simply sublime experience. And I'm extremely fortunate in the team.

I can hardly wait for you to read A TRICK OF THE LIGHT - about Clara's art show. Less than a month now!!! Hope you're enjoying your day.

In the beginning...

snow squalls, chilly, temps minus 5

Well, now the sun is almost out. A few minutes ago we couldn't see the pine tree just out the back window, for all the snow.

Started Book 8 today. Was expecting and planning to start yesterday - first of March - but then I remembered Deanna was coming to clean and we generally try to be out of her way. Besides, hard to concentrate when all I hear is a vacuum. So we arranged to do errands etc.

But then turns out Deanna's week is next week! D'oh. I hesitate to suggest this was my subconscious looking for one more day of vacation - but if there's one thing on earth lazier than my conscious, it's my sub-conscious.

But here we are! Just finished writing for the day. Always momentous - that first day. I had set a goal of 500 words. Ended up writing just over 900. Feels good. First go a little rough...but I read and re-read and smoothed. And now I like it. Will re-read it tomorrow before starting on the original writing for that day. I find it's important not to get caught up in editing, at least for me. I can smooth and polish and edit for days and weeks and months, ending up with the finest 1000 words you've ever read...but no closer to actually writing the book. For me, editing can be an escape - I can hide in it. Kidding myself I'm being useful, when all I'm doing is running on the spot.

Some people can do it. I can't. For me I need to just keep pressing forward. I read over the work I did the previous day, do some editing and polishing - mostly to get myself back into that world. Then I need to write original text. One small foot in front of the other.

Each book, I realize, has different needs. The previous book - which is at the publishers and will come out in the US and Canada in the fall - is called A TRICK OF THE LIGHT. With that I felt I needed to just get that first damned draft done. No matter what a dog's breakfast it was. And, heaven knows, it was a bit of a mess - that first draft. But that's what editing and second and third and fourth drafts are for. I'll never get it right at first.

But other books - like BURY YOUR DEAD for instance, and this book, I think - I have a better idea initially where I'm going and why - and the themes. And so I plan to write a little slower but a little surer. I suspect the book, and the drafts, will be finished about the same time - they always are - and sent to my agent. But with the '1,000 words a day or more' books the second drafts contain more substantial changes. The '500 words a day' books take longer, but perhaps need fewer changes in the re-writes.

But, honestly - all my first drafts are messes. And while I give myself permission to write only 500 words a day, I really am more of a sprinter. I dash forward....and then go back and clean up the mess. It seems to be in my nature.

So - check back with me in 2 months and we'll see where I am. I'll probably have forgotten all about this newfound insight and will just be bumbling along, at speed.

I find a first draft generally takes 3 months, depending upon how many interruptions I have in that time. All of which I've agreed to. Every year I promise myself to turn down everything in those 3 months, and every year I seem to end up with even more commitments. This year, while april and the beginning of May are quite full - at least March is almost empty. yay.

Michael and I have decided to investigate geo-thermal. We had arranged for someone from NextEnergy to come on Monday - before I'd started writing - to look at the house and give us an idea of what it would cost, what would be the advantages environmentally and economically - and what would be the disruptions. But there was a huge storm - freezing rain, snow, winds yuck! So we re-scheduled for this afternoon at 2. We'll get a few quotes then decide.

At the top, by the way, is a photo of Trudy I took from where I was writing. For three months, as I write, when I look to the right I see the fireplace, lit. If I look to the left I see Trudy with some stuffed toy in her mouth - waiting for me to do something important. Like play.

A small world, but a good one.

Hope you're well. Thanks for coming along as we start Book 8.

Happy Valentine's Day!

bit of rain - cool

We're having another lazy day! Reading and relaxing. Am preparing more and more for the upcoming book, which I start to write March 1st. I actually begin to think about it a year or two in advance, since so many elements of the books are intertwined and the roots, if you care to trace them, go back into earlier books. So I need to be aware of where the books and plots and characters are going.

But the finer points begin in earnest in the summer before I start to write...so, about eight months before. As you know, I also do some 'on-site' research at Saint-Benoit-du-lac in September and again in December. And have spend quiet time just letting things settle and bubble and solidify and take wing.

It's such a fun process - in many ways for me the most fun....just letting the themes present themselves. I carry a notebook for book 8, split into different sections, and have much of it already filled with ideas, thoughts, quotes, themes - how events and themes might intertwine...and refer to the past and be relevant to future books.

But it is crucial, I've come to realize, not to 'peak' too soon. If I think about it too much while away - a few weeks before I actually come to write it - then it could begin to get stale instead of exciting. Like eating too much of my favorite meal. I want to hit that 'sweet spot' - where I know where the book is going, how it begins, and the main themes - and am both excited and comfortable.

And them I start to write. But I don't want to run the risk of over-thinking or over-planning. Again, that perfect balance of direction and inspiration. Room to breathe.

yesterday, over breakfast, Michael and I talked about the book....a lovely part of the process for me is that conversation with Michael where I tell him where I'm at and we bounce idea around...generally at this stage. I hadn't yet decided who the victim will be. It was between two characters....but which makes the best victim? And who should remain alive to deal with Gamache etc. Dynamics. Tension. conversations. Relationships. All need to be examined, turned around, dissected, and fit into place.

I love those conversations - and Michael says he does too. he's very good at it. Bringing up this aspect, that thought...what ifs...

Over coffee we decided on the victim. though, frankly, that might still change. But for now I'm very happy with it.

Next conversation? The killer! you'd think by now I'd know all that...but really for me the important preparation is things like the themes, the setting, the characters, what propels theme. Their issues and pain and joys...and how they all intersect.

Am also about to start reading The Naked Now by Richard Rohr as part of my preparation (nothing to do with Valentine's Day, I promise you.)

Speaking of which, I hope you're enjoying Valentine's Day.

thank you SO much for all your lovely, fun, supportive comments about the Barry and St. Lucia! The truth is, I've decided to try to stay off the computer as much as possible until the vacation ends. But I'll be back on next week and tell you all about it!

Be well - and thank you for your company.